English translations

1. BRIDAL BLISS

In past centuries, the wedding day was a turning point in a woman’s life. Entering the role of the wife elevated a woman’s status in the community. Unmarried women lacked opportunities and were rarely able to support themselves.

Marriage was a transaction between two families, where love played a secondary role. The continuation of the family line and financial security were most important. Marriage was a secular agreement that required the consent of the matchmaker, usually the father of the bride. A clerical marriage was not required in Finland until 1734. At that time, the law required the consent of both parties: “No one can be forced into marriage, as the consent of both man and wife is required to be wed.”

The importance of love in marriage was strengthened in the late 18th century. Falling head over heels quickly was not seen as a solid foundation for marriage. Instead, mutual appreciation for one another made love bloom. Marital affection and care guaranteed the success of a family.

The middle-class nuclear family was the 19th century ideal. Its cornerstone was the love between spouses. The 1930 Marriage Act granted legal equality for spouses and marriage became a private matter between the two. Today, Finnish weddings are a celebration of the love that the couple entering into marriage share, and marriage has become an agreement between the spouses.

Before entering into normal married life, weddings were celebrated lavishly with no expense or effort spared. Today, wedding celebrations in Finland are eclectic and many traditions have changed. Bridal Bliss embarks on the journey of the Finnish bride from the 19th century to today. The exhibition’s gowns and other items are all from the collections of Tampere’s historical museums.

2. THE ROAD TO MARRIAGE

When a suitable bride was found, the man discussed his intentions for marriage with his family. After that, the man traveled to the bride’s home to court her. He was accompanied by a spokesman, whose mission was to negotiate with the bride’s father, or matchmaker. With the spokesman’s help, even a shyer young man was able to make his case. In 1864, a law was enacted that allowed a woman aged 21 to marry according to her own will.

The suitor presented his chosen one with a betrothal gift, for example a ring, a watch, or a scarf. The proposal was rejected if the maiden returned her gifts after the consideration period. A successful courtship was followed by an engagement. The groom and the matchmaker shook hands, and then the groom and the bride. In Finland, brides in wealthy circles have received engagement rings since the 16th century and grooms since the 17th century.

Celebratory engagement dinners were still hosted at the bride’s home at the beginning of the 20th century. The guests were not given a reason for the invitation; the big announcement was made during the meal. Festive dinners with speeches were abandoned as engagements became a one-on-one affair between a couple, and the role of relatives diminished.

A couple to be wed was announced in church on three consecutive Sundays. Today, the investigation of impediments to marriage serves the same function as announcements in the past. After the announcements, a cheerful party was thrown at the bride’s home. The announcement custom faded early in the 20th century.

Invitations to a wedding were typically made two weeks before the celebration. Invitations were mostly made verbally at first. At the turn of the 20th century, people living nearby were invited in person, while letters of invitation were sent to those far away. This custom remained until the widespread popularity of printed invitation cards.

3. THE PERFECT DRESS

Before the 19th century, the bride wore an evening gown to her wedding that followed the trends of the time, and this dress was not necessarily white. The bride stood out from the crowd with her festive decorations, flowers, and jewelry. In the 18th century, fashion favored white, and it was therefore also seen in brides’ dresses. Queen Victoria of England set the example for wedding wear in 1840. Her silk satin dress, orange blossom wreath and lace veil became the basis of the traditional wedding dress.

An expensive wedding dress was a luxury most brides could not afford. Most often the bride resorted to her best evening gown or a borrowed dress. When purchasing a new dress, black was a sensible choice, because it could be worn many times over for festivities.

The bride’s oldest accessory, a metal crown, lost its popularity in the early 19th century. Instead, a fashionable bride’s hair was decorated with a myrtle wreath and a white veil. Myrtle represented innocence and eternal love, and the orange blossoms embellishing the crown symbolized fertility. The bride carried a handkerchief, which was replaced by a flower bouquet in noble circles in the 1870s.

At the end of the 18th century, a small bouquet of flowers was attached to the wedding dress. It contained lavender, rosemary, lilies, hyacinths, and roses. Hand-held bouquets became common in Finland at the beginning of the 20th century. The compact round bouquet was followed by hanging waterwall-style bouquets and abundant arm bouquets. A simple, round bouquet was popular in the 1950s. More embellished flower assortments returned in the 1980s.

The spirit of the times was clearly visible in bridal wear in the 20th century. In the Jazz Age, the hem rose to the knees and the veil nearly touched the floor. Brides of the famine years fashioned their mothers’ wedding dresses into something befitting when fabrics were not available. In the 1970s, when traditions were largely abandoned, a bride might have marched into the district court office in a miniskirt or jeans.

4. THE WEDDING PARTY

The bride’s closest companion at the wedding was the maid of honor. A married female relative older than the bride was usually chosen for this role. Her job was to support and advise the bride on all things related to the wedding, from beginning to end.

In the countryside, the maid of honor’s job was to accompany the bride and help collect a dowry. After the church announcements, the bride circled houses in her village asking for supplies to make kapiot, a dowry often consisting of embroidered textiles, both clothing and linen items, that the bride would bring to her new marital home. The custom withered at the beginning of the 20th century because it was considered degrading.

The dresser was entrusted with the important task of clothing the bride, especially in Western Finland. This near-professional task was assumed by bourgeois women in the cities and by priests’ wives in the countryside. The dresser lent the bride a crown, decorations, and, if necessary, a wedding dress for a fee. Over time, the dresser sometimes began to undertake the role of the maid of honor, even though dressing was not associated with the role originally.

The groom’s assistant was the spokesman. He was a man older than the groom, who, in addition to helping with the proposal, participated in arranging and directing the wedding. The spokesman was expected to be quick-witted. In rural communities of the early 19th century, the spokesman may also have been expected to nullify the spells of witches and the envious, that threatened the bride and groom.

The bride and groom were escorted by bridesmaids and groomsmen in upper class weddings, usually peers. As the custom grew more common, flower girls and boys also entered the picture. In upper class weddings, the groom and spokesman were also referred to as marshall. Pairing flower girls and boys was still common in the 1920s.

5. THE BRIDAL SKY

It has been customary to celebrate weddings for days, without saving effort or expense. People of modest means were married in the parsonage in borrowed rings and without much ceremony, though.

In the countryside, autumn and December weddings were popular. The crop was harvested, there was plenty of food to go around, and people had time to celebrate. Spring and summer weddings became more common at the beginning of the 20th century, especially among the bourgeois and in cities. Nowadays, midsummer weddings have had to give way to other summer events and traditions.

In the early 19th century, upper class weddings were extravagant social events, but became more family-oriented over the course of the century. Weddings in the countryside were celebrated with the strength of the entire community up until the beginning of the 20th century. The celebration started at the bride’s home and continued at the groom’s home. In Western Finland, the newlyweds and their guests moved from one wedding venue to another in grand processions. A colorful parade of horse-drawn carriages moved forward accompanied by folk musicians.

In cities, typical wedding venues were town halls, factory banquet halls and workers’ houses. In Tampere, spacious halls and rooms of private homes were rented out for weddings at the end of the 19th century. Conifers, branches of deciduous trees, ferns, birches and flowers were used as decorations for the premises, depending on the season. An archway of tree trunks, vines and ribbons was constructed to receive guests outside the venue.

The marriage ceremony took place at the bride’s or groom’s home, in a church, or in a ballroom, where a wedding tapestry was spread on the floor. The couple knelt atop stools, which were placed on the tapestry. A Western Finnish custom was to hang a wedding canopy, or “wedding sky”, over the couple, created from large scarves. A similar decoration was a telta, or large silk scarf supported by the bridesmaids and groomsmen.

6. THE WEDDING NIGHT

The wedding night meant the consummation of the marriage. The old custom was for the wedding guests to escort the bride and groom to bed and under the covers. After the escorting and blessing, the couple was left alone. The custom was known in eastern parts of Finland up until the 19th century.

After the engagement, kisses were allowed, but more intimate acts were reserved for marriage, especially in more affluent circles. Attitudes towards premarital sex became even stricter in the 19th century. The sanctity of marriage, romantic love, and chastity were the bourgeois ideals of the era. However, it was not uncommon among the common people for the bride to be pregnant on her wedding day.

The first night together was accompanied by rituals to ward off dangers threatening the married couple and to ensure fertility. It was a common belief that placing an axe under the bed would help to conceive a boy and that shears would help to conceive a girl. In some places it was believed that the married couple had to sleep close together and face each other so that the devil could not get between them.

The man gave his new wife a gift the morning after the wedding. Its purpose was to secure the woman’s financial position and was required by law until 1878. A wealthier groom gave the gift of jewelry and other valuables, perhaps even a mansion. The common folk gave more practical gifts, such as dishes and furniture.

After the wedding night, the bride wore the second day’s wedding dress. This could no longer be virginal white and did not include a veil. The old-fashioned way was to cover the young bride’s head in some other way. A “head covering celebration” was known in the Häme region, where the bride was removed of her crown and a scarf was tied in its place.

7. THE WEDDING FEAST

At large country weddings, the catering chef was responsible for the food. Male waiters served food and drinks and maintained order. Female waiters served the coffee. Plenty of beer was served at weddings, and it never ran out.

Lavish 19th century upper class weddings included extravagant dinners. Champagne was offered as the bridal toast, and various wines and punch were offered alongside courses. There were sweet puddings and gelatins in between meals, followed by more meat courses. The number of courses served spoke to the wealth and status of the host.

At the turn of the 20th century, the number of courses decreased. A smorgasbord often replaced warm food. In the 1930s, for example, there might have been a sandwich assortment, cold pike or salmon, meat broth, roast veal with vegetables, and fruit gelatin. During the war and famine years, often only coffee was served. In the 1970s, the wedding couple might have skipped the reception entirely.

The coffee table was filled with bundt cakes, buns, and cookies, just like during any other family celebration. The gentry decorated their wedding table with a croquembouche. For the croquembouche, patterns extruded from dough were baked and combined into a tall structure.

The first wedding cake recipe from England in 1769 was for a fruit cake covered in almond paste and sugar icing. Queen Victoria of England had grand layered cakes made for the first time to commemorate her children’s weddings. Though the concept of a wedding cake was familiar in Finland in the 20th century, it did not become common until after the World War.

In the 19th century, wedding confectionery was a tradition among wealthier people. Store-bought candies were wrapped in shiny paper and decorated with pictures and verses. A verse could read, for example, “The flame of love cannot be extinguished, if it is true and honest.” If the treat was eaten, the wrapper was refilled and kept as decoration.

8. THE WEDDING MARCH

The oldest wedding music in Finland includes wedding laments and songs, which ushered the bride to a new stage of life and accompanied traditions. Hymn weddings survived the longest in Eastern Finland.

Music played an important role in creating a festive atmosphere. Trendy music and dance spread from the cities to the countryside starting in the 17th century, accompanied by musicians. Parties that lasted until the early morning hours made for talented musicians, as the same tune could not be played twice.

Dance was the highlight of the wedding. Polska and minuet were traditional opening dances. The waltz did not take first place until the end of the 19th century, and only then did the groom receive the honor of the first dance with his bride. The priest, the spokesman and the groom’s father had previously taken priority.

In upper class weddings in Tampere in the 1890s, the polska, jenkka, mazurka, hambo and waltz were danced to the rhythm of violins and clarinets. At the end of the wedding, the married women took the bride into their dance circle and acknowledged her a wedded woman. The men declared the groom a married man in a similar fashion.

Wedding marches composed as stage music by Felix Mendelssohn and Richard Wagner made their way into wedding celebrations in the late 19th century. Music that appealed to the emotions supported dreams of romantic love and marital happiness. Folk musicians and hymns still played a part in more ordinary wedding ceremonies.

In Finland, wedding music was composed by, for example, Toivo Kuula and Erkki Melartin. Kuula composed his popular, longing wedding march in 1908 for the wedding of his acquaintances. He himself was unhappily in love with the bride’s sister. The number of wedding waltzes and wedding-themed songs increased in the 1950s. One of the most popular waltzes is Akselin ja Elinan häävalssi (“Akseli and Elina’s wedding waltz”), composed by Heikki Aaltoila in 1968.

9. WEDDING MEMENTOS

It has been customary to give out many gifts during the engagement period and at the wedding. The groom gave gifts to his in-laws. The bride distributed clothing and other textiles of her making to the groom’s relatives and the spokesman. These “gifts of the bride” were proof of her skill and diligence. Money or promises of, for example, livestock were given as gifts at countryside weddings. The gentry brought wedding gifts as early as the announcement ceremony.

Morsiamen kirja (“The Bride’s Book”) from 1944 declares that the way of arranging gifts on a special table at the wedding venue is of English origin. The book recommends silver spoons, domestic glass and porcelain items, an encyclopedia for the man’s study, and expensive modern kitchen utensils as gifts. For decades, it has been acceptable to move in together and start a home before marriage, so many couples opt for gift lists or, for example, set up a travel fund.

Photographs were also taken as keepsakes to commemorate the beginning of a couple’s life together. Taking engagement and wedding photographs became common in the 1890s. At first, engagement photos were even more common in the countryside than wedding photos. The engaged couple wore normal neat clothes, the man perhaps a dark suit. The visibility of the rings in the picture was important.

The wedding photo was usually taken in a studio. A picture taken at the celebration venue was usually captured outside. The wealthiest had pictures taken inside as well, because they could afford a professional photographer with lighting equipment. Group photos taken outside were popular.

The half-body portrait of the married couple became common in the 1930s. Back then, a full body picture of the bride was also needed so that the dress could be seen in all its beauty. Around the same time, couples began to smile in pictures. The cutting of the wedding cake also became a popular motif for photographs, as it symbolized the beginning of a life together.

10. SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW

Wedding traditions were honored in the 20th century, as only the style of the dress changed with the times. The 1970s were an exception. Then, traditions were thrown out the window. “I do’s” were said at the district court and casual wear was completely acceptable. Weddings and traditions came back into fashion in the 1980s. In this millennium, weddings are characteristic of the couple getting married. Even so, the bride usually wears a long white wedding dress.

Many current wedding customs have been inherited from hundreds of years ago, while some are newer than one might imagine. Brides often follow the guideline that the wedding dress must include something new, something old, something borrowed and something blue. The saying is of English origin from the 19th century. It became popular in Finland in the 20th century.

European and Finnish traditions are mixed when it comes to stag parties. The stag party has its roots in Germany, where it is referred to as the polterabend. It was a riotous evening organized before the wedding, meant to drive away evil forces. In Finland, noble men celebrated polterabend with boisterous fun. Upper class women adopted the custom in the 1890s. Women’s polterabends included dressing up as men. Stag parties took their current form in the 1960s.

Going to the sauna on the eve of the wedding has been customary for both the bride and the groom. In the bridal sauna, the brides were prepared for a new phase of life. Sauna rituals were performed to cleanse them from evil and free them from past burdens. Today, the bridal sauna has become a central part of the bachelorette party.

11. THE LAWS OF LOVE IN FINLAND

1734
Church ordination becomes mandatory.
Divorce is possible if the spouse commits adultery or abandons the other.

1860
According to the law, the husband is no longer allowed to discipline his wife.

1864
At the age of 21, a woman is allowed to marry without the consent of the matchmaker. An unmarried 25-year-old woman is allowed to manage her own property and represent herself in court. A wife does not have similar rights.
A fine is no longer paid to the church for premarital sex.

1917
Civil marriage becomes possible.

1919
A wife may enter the workforce without her husband’s consent.

1930
A new Marriage Act: the wife is freed from her husband’s guardianship and receives the right to her own property.
The wife must take her husband’s surname.

1978
Parents can share parental leave between themselves.

1986
New surname law: a woman who marries may keep her own surname and a child may also be given the mother’s surname.

1994
Marital rape is criminalized.

2017
The Equal Marriage Act enters into force. Marriage is possible regardless of gender.

2019
Underage marriages are prohibited.

12. THE GOLDEN YEARS

Celebrating the golden anniversary dates back to 16th century Germany and the silver anniversary to the following century. In Finland, the golden anniversary has been celebrated in noble circles since the 18th century. Other anniversaries have been named in the 19th and 20th centuries, but these names experience a lot of local variation. The names refer to the material of the gift that a husband should present his wife on that anniversary.

1. Paper anniversary / cotton anniversary
2. Cotton anniversary / paper anniversary
3. Leather anniversary
4. Ceramic anniversary / flower anniversary / fruit anniversary
5. Wooden anniversary
6. Sugar anniversary / iron anniversary
7. Woolen anniversary / copper anniversary
8. Bronze anniversary / rubber anniversary
9. Linen anniversary / willow anniversary / clay anniversary / ceramic anniversary
10. Tin anniversary / porcelain anniversary
11. Steel anniversary
12. Silk anniversary

12 ½. Copper anniversary / nickel anniversary

13. Lace anniversary
14. Ivory anniversary
15. Crystal anniversary
16. Porcelain wedding / bronze wedding
17. Silver anniversary
18. Pearl anniversary / ivory anniversary
19. Coral anniversary / jade anniversary
20. Ruby anniversary
21. Sapphire anniversary
22. Golden anniversary
23. Emerald anniversary
24. Diamond anniversary
25. Crown diamond anniversary / crown jewel anniversary / iron anniversary
26. Iron anniversary / wooden anniversary
27. Diamond anniversary / iron anniversary / tin anniversary / brilliant anniversary
28. Platinum anniversary / oak anniversary